All the Feels

Since the election, I am reading, hearing about and viewing lots of emotion out in the world.  So many feelings are being expressed, cried about, and spewed.  Protest, sit-ins, boycotts and even riots are the go-to solution for all of these feelings.  We all react to feelings differently.  My knee-jerk reaction to intense emotion is to analyze it and find the facts amidst all of the feelings.

Feelings are overwhelming, over-stimulating, too much and too wrong.  Feelings send you into the closet if you give into them, just for the quiet and the reprieve.  Facts give you data.  Look at mood swings.  Feelings take you on a sometimes fantastic, sometimes fatal journey of emotion.  Analyze your mood swing.  What environmental factors changed?  Did anything change?  Or did your feelings change?  A quick and simple analysis will tell you that YOU changed.  Nothing around you is at fault for how YOU DECIDE TO FEEL and any given moment.  Moods, feelings, gut, and hunches:  they are all suspect and should take a firm back seat to FACTS.

Feelings can’t be trusted.  Feelings are liars.  Just look at a panic attack.  Feelings tell you you’re going to die.  Right here and now…you will die.  ALL LIES.  Ride a panic attack out.  You didn’t die.  Major depressive episode:  Feelings tell you the world will be better off without you.  It will be actually easier on your family.  LIES.  Look at all the suicides committed by amazing and wonderful people who made the mistake of trusting their feelings.  Why should you ever trust your feelings again?

Feelings are for the Eat, Pray, Love generation.  Feelings tell vulnerable snowflakes that they have just met their soulmate.  Even though they are already married and have families.  Feelings tell middle aged women and men that they just aren’t “happy” anymore, and that they need to follow their bliss and find themselves.  Feelings tell teenage girls that the bad boy is worth it and she can change him and that the solid guy is boring.  Feelings tell fiscally irresponsible folks that they have to have that couch/watch/house/car now and that they deserve it although it can’t be afforded.  Feelings are fickle.

Feelings tell some voters that one candidate is mean or insensitive (there it is with those pesky emotions).  Facts tell me which one rigged a primary, was irresponsible and treasonous with classified information, put our nation at grave risk, ran a shady foundation, and threw temper tantrums.  All facts.  I make my decisions based on facts, on which candidate I THOUGHT (not felt) would be better for this country right now.  The only mistake I admit to, is assuming that voters on the other side of the aisle made their decision to vote for their candidate based on facts.  I assumed we both want what is best for the nation that we leave to our children.  So my respect for them didn’t diminish, and I didn’t think any less of their decision because I THINK we all made decisions with the same process. I expected the same treatment. I am obviously wrong.   Lots of feelings involved there, and lots of ire, hatred, hysteria and incredulity coming from the other side.  Notice all the feelings?

Feelings are for hallmark movies, the Lifetime Movie Channel, outstanding novels, and musical scores.  They have their place.  Maslow’s Hierarchy is a “nice to have”.  I would argue that our country is hanging by a thread to the second level of Maslow’s pyramid at “safety and security” or maybe you don’t remember 9/11.  

I don’t choose my vote, nor do I make any major decisions based on feelings.  It is working for me so far.  So I don’t plan to change.  This I know: I cannot or will not surround myself with volatile people mired down in a vortex of emotions.  It isn’t healthy for me.  We are all “sensitive”, some more than others.  I know this about myself, therefore I choose thoughtful people for my inner circle.  I value my friends with differing opinions who make their decisions based on their own thinking and facts.  We need to keep our conversations open and the communication flowing.  That’s how we all learn.  I refuse to surround myself with emotionally volatile people, but I choose to surround myself with those that challenge my thoughts, present me with facts, and maintain a dialogue filled with respect and the understanding that we all want what is best for our nation.  This I DECIDED.  

Peace and blessings…

THE PERP

THE VICTIM

Two baby birds (fledglings, we have now learned) were on the ground around our house in the past few days. We have googled and learned lots about how cardinals train their young. We have watched the Mom and the Dad hover around their young and feed them. One fledgling was fully feathered and could fly short bursts. One had a bloody forehead, wasn't so feathered, and didn't look so far along. I was warned repeatedly since Sunday afternoon not to let Midnight (the cat) out. He has been cooped up and miserable. Last night, we had dinner on the back patio and watched the baby bird and parents. Midnight got out with all of the coming and going and was content to sit under the table with us and ignore the bird happenings.

Or so I thought.

Fast forward to this morning. I'm up, let the dog out, checked for the babies, couldn't find them (they flew the coop, I thought!) and made lunches with the sounds of the outdoors to enjoy. Midnight was happily resting on the bar stool.

Or so I thought.

Jordan came down, and began his breakfast. I was unloading the dishwasher when my spidey senses started tingling. "Where is the cat?" I thought. I looked and the cat was walking into the kitchen with A BABY BIRD IN HIS MOUTH!"

CRAP.

Oh, no he didn't...

CRAP.

And then it began. I rescued the bird from his mouth. Prodded him. It seemed ok? He was flapping and flipping. I placed him back by the tree (put the cat in the laundry room) and we watched. The Mom and Dad came around, but wouldn't feed him. He sat there.

Lots of tears. Jordan is so angry at me and the cat. Its all my fault. I tried to go with the whole "circle of life" speech. Jordan reminded me that Midnight is well fed. Yep, he got me there.

It is now almost three hours later. The Mom and Dad haven't fed him, he is down on his side, won't get up and just moves every now and then. I don't think he is long for this world.

And it's all my fault.

Update: time of death: 11:30 am. RIP little guy.

PRIVATE!

What is this fascination with privacy? People always say, “I’m a private person” as an intro to why they were offended by something that was asked, or as and excuse to say no to something, or just to seem mysterious (that is my vote for why people say that).

I’m not private. I Never have been. In fact, I’m the queen of too much information. I’ll tell you everything, short of my bank account number and routing number. I won’t respond to the phish email requesting my passwords and stuff, but I’ll tell you if I started my period this morning, or if I’m in the bathtub when I talk to you on the phone, or if I am having a tough day, or if I’m having a kick-ass day and why. I guess if that wasn’t ok, I’ve already offended and scared off the people that don’t want that information so I won’t worry too much about it.

Maybe I should work on being more mysterious. I mean, really, I bore myself. But that seems so hard. I can imagine it now…Jennifer, can you help out with the blah blah committee to blah blah tomorrow at 11? Why no, I can’t tomorrow. I have an appt. Its A Dr’s appt. *pause* Ok, its my annual pap smear and hopefully I’ll get that mammogram! But probably not, cause I’m still nursing an almost three year old! Gross, huh? I know, I never would have thought…but he’s my last. And its been so good for him. So, yeah, no mammogram for me still! Oh, you know, that appt is at 10 and I might just be done by then, so maybe I can come for the last part? Oh, ok, I’ll try and be there. Oh, but I’ll have to leave early cause I want to hit the gym for that new soul groove class. Gosh, its so fun. You should try it! ……….and on…….and on…..and on…..

Nope, I’m not private. I’m a big fat open book. A really thick, informative, and somewhat superfluous book.

2+2

Hunkering Down

Wow. It has been a long dry stretch since posting anything. I've had lots of "blog-worthy" moments that I start writing up in my head, but never get around to posting because they are all so negative. That's all I have right now: things that piss me off. And as much as this blog was supposed to be a release for those feelings and irritations, I just haven't wanted to give life to that lately. Maybe its the lenten season making me want to be more positive. Perhaps I'm afraid that if I indulge the dark underbelly of my bubbly personality right about now, I may not be able to dig myself back up to the light. Or maybe all this piss-offedness that I'm keeping bottled up will send me over the edge and you will read about me in the news! "Crazy suburban Momma goes postal in Kroger - details at 11!"

We'll have to wait and see.

Later

The Shack

I just read The Shack this weekend. I was a little hesitant because people fall into the hate it/love it category and I just was a little concerned about the disturbing nature of it (a seven year old girl is killed at the beginning). This book is a fictional account about that girl's father and his healing through conversations with God.

I was expecting The Secret part deux, or A New Earth wannabe. I was prepared to be offended. I wasn't. At all. In case anyone actually reads this, I can't discuss what I loved because I might give things away. I'm touched by this book. I'm changed by this book. I might even give this book as a gift to friend. Oh, and the book is fiction. It is not a course on theology.

I wonder what Oprah would think of this book. I guess we'll never know.

Dan Brown and Basketball

In the interest of using this blog to vent about things that bug me, I ask, why is Angels and Demons being marketed as a sequel to the DaVinci Code? It is not. It is a prequel. Does Ron Howard think that no one will notice? Does Dan Brown care? Or is he so happy that another one of his fictional accounts of the Church and its workings is being plastered all over the big screen because people are too lazy to read the book. Just put them in the right order! The whole world was able to figure out the prequel concept with the Star Wars franchise. It is possible. And if you follow Lost on television you are well ahead of the game. This bugs me. And yes I read both, and yes, I think they are fiction. And yes, I thought they were page turners and enjoyed reading. And yes, I will go see the darn movie too. I liked this book much better.

Other things that bug...my oldest is into basketball and had a big game the other night where the opposing team were foul happy. And fouling on purpose, and tripping our team's players on purpose! And I don't get real involved in the yelling and cheering etc. In fact, I don't say very much because I don't know enough about the game to say much anyway, other than "Woo hoo!" when mine makes a point, or basket, or whatever (see what I mean?). Furthermore, I've talked with my boy about it and he appreciates the silent support and happy face in the crowd. So back to the tripping. This number two on the other team was tripping. More than once. And the other team cheered. And then he tripped my boy. And Mamma tiger came out. I wanted to take the kid out. I stayed silent and supportive and the referee handled, and all was well. I was just amused to observe that I got so enraged at that other child for a half a second. Motherhood is interesting. Glad its passed. Oh, and if by some strange and weird occurence the Mother of that number two were to read this crazy blog, I am so truly sorry.....



that your kid is a little jerk.